S.S. $mith
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The Madien Voyage
Boating world watch out! The S.S. $mith is ready to hit the water. If you are in the market for high speeds, sleek looks, luxourious details, fine quality craftsmanship, and room for not only 20 of your closest friens, but also room for their helicopters, then look somewhere else. This boat is smaller than the portions of food insde a Lunchables snack pack (Mr. Posilovich can attest to that). Its top speed is not much faster than a speeding turtle. However, it is seaworthy. This boat is built for shear distance and we are not talking kilometers or miles we are talkning meters, 1.5 to be exact. You may recall the voyage of the S.S. Minow, well this crew is ten times as like able. First, the Skipper has been replaced by the more portly Mr. Porinchak. How can you not fall in love with a guy who collects records and used popsicle sticks, most of which are not his. The Professor has not changed, he still can build a radio from a coconut, design a cable television set of a palm tree and sand, and still has the rugged good looks, the only difference is his name is Mr. Posilovich. The milionare and his wife are now the enchanting Mitchell's, Mary Ann and Ginger are now Mrs. Posilovich and Mrs. Porinchak (You can decide which is which). Finally, Gilligan is our beloved $mith. His crazy antics keep the crew guessing each week. We will never forget how he once got locked inside his own car and how he accidentally combined peanut butter and mustard instead of peanut butter and jelly. So tune in and prepare to laugh as the S.S. $mith sets sail soon.
All Aboard
The S.S. $mith prepares for its maiden voyage across the seven seas. Will it be a three hour tour or will the weather start to get rough? Will the tiny ship get tossed? Will it be up to the courage of the fearless crew to keep the $mith from getting lost? WIll the ship tkae groung on the shore of an uncharted desert isle?
Dual Super Propellers
Usually one is good enough, but when you are G-14 two is always better than one, except for dirty diapers where zero is better than one. The dual action propellers produce hurricane like winds to move this beauty across any water way at an alarming speed and the time it travels 1.5 m has not been calculated due to the fact that no one has a quick enough reflexes to work the stop watch. We estimate the timeto be under .05 seconds.
The Unsinkable Ship
Some have compared the S.S. $mith to that of the H.M.S. Titanic. It is a mighty ship with with room for thousands, (of ants) the most up to date technology, (rubber band power) and the finest crew this side of the Mississippi. Not even an ice berg could take down this stallion of the seas. She is reinforced with layer upon layer of gorillamerium, an A-bomb would have trouble denting this vessel.
Raise Anchor and Set Sail. Destination, FUN!
The S.S. $mith is ready for action and ready for its first passengers. We cannot guarantee the outcome of the voyage, but be can guarantee fun! No ship on the planet has the bouyance, stability, strenght, and shear power that this boat has stored in its pinky finger (if it had a pinky finger). We are talking from bow to stern, starboard to port side, rise the mast, shibber me timbers, and swap the poop deck this is the vessel of choice.
